How to get rid of People

29 Mar

So I realize I do this far too often, sometime willingly and sometimes it is just a reflex. Ok so obviously I have friends and others who have not left me and I am in no way what the popular assumption of anti-social (by the way being anti-social so much more than not wanting to hangout with people, look it up). Now to the heart of the matter, are you at all familiar with those people who call you through out different times during the day or even come to your house wanting to sell you things. Or perhaps they just “have an amazing promotion they want to share with you!”. They want to know who you are, even though they called you, and sometimes they know the name they should ask for and then you are a bit more trapped when they ask for you and in all innocence you respond saying that you are indeed the person they are looking for. This is specially frustrating when lets say you are waiting for an important phone call and you think this person, who just wants to hear your opinion about a product makes themselves sound important, is the person you want to actually hear from. Now I realize that this is their job but do they have to be so pushy? Can one of them just be like “oh you are busy right now? sorry it’s all chill”. No! they have to be pushy and keep calling or keep asking you for things. Maybe their job is important but when you are in the middle of almost burning something and you are waiting for a phone call, and some pushy personality tell you that you ‘have’ to talk to them they should not expect you to be nice. 

On sunny days such as this one I am writing on, there are always several door-to-door roof repairing companies, or rug cleaner businesses that send out representatives to talk to people about their jobs and perhaps aid them by giving them a good price, on lets say their lawn manicured. While this is something that is good at times I cannot help but be frustrated when it happens. You open the door after you make the dog stop barking and you see that it is someone with the cutthroat instinct of a good salesperson that somehow can intimidate you into making repairs to your house or something like that. These could also be the people who petition in the streets (specially in Portland) to either sign a petition to legalize marijuana (or as they call it Cannabis  or perhaps they want you to donate money to clean up the river. Good causes? well maybe it depends where you are on wanting clean rivers, but when you encounter one in every corner of your chosen walking path, every person with a binder or board in their hands becomes the enemy. Some people have even gone as far as just yelling “NO!” when they ask “Do you care about starving children?”.  But seriously people this has to stop, No means No, just drop it I know it’s your job but hey we all have crummy jobs let it go man. Now if you really care about any of there things being offered to you they right on, Needing gardening services and having someone coming to your house offering gardening services seems like a win/win. Equally if you care about starving children and can spare an automatic charge to your account for who knows how long every month, that is great thank you for helping starving children. But my point is that some just do not want to do any of those things.

Now I must admit I am a coward, my gender associated upbringing has made me want to be polite and nice to all of those to whom I speak to. It is not something bad, being nice is good, all I am saying is that sometimes being nice can be exhausting and troublesome. So in order to not be “not nice” I resort to other forms of rejection.  I have as I have been told a young sounding voice through the phone, so when someone call asking for my opinion, or wanting to sell me something, or refinance my home; I simply increase the pitch of my voice and say I am not yet 18 years of age and there are no legal adults present. Yes I know it is a bad thing to do but really in a few call they should realize that I don not want their services or someone abandoned a young adult to their own devices. When someone comes to my house and knocks on the door I simply say I am not the owner of the house and they are away on some sort of vacation, from which they will not be returning any time soon. again they might think I have murdered someone in this case but hey better to take two seconds after answering the door that have them try to explain what it is that they do and how they are different from the other similar businesses. When walking down town I simply look at my phone and avoid eye contact. It is very important to avoid eye contact at all cost. once you look at them they will hone on you and they will know you are weak! If i do end up falling for the typical “Hey how are you today?” which is what they do when every person around them is avoiding their gaze, because as human we have made to answer such questions, at least one person will say “fine thanks” and almost none of them will be walking fast enough to get away.  Remember the words “I don’t have no card information with me sorry”, If you know another language you could try to use it but be very careful because they might also know it and getting stalled in a different language is the same as getting stalled in English. 


well probably not evil but you know.




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